We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
