So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
