Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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