You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
