So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
