it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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