whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Panties = found
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
