He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize