Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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