you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
