Please, let me fuck your mom
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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