I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
