like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
