porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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