Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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