His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
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