mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Everclear isn't food dammit
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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