dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
