And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
So much rum. So many feels.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
