..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
why do cheetos always look like penises
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
