i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
There was a lot of him and a little penis
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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