Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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