used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
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