i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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