i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
