It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I know her cup size but not her name....
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
