I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
