The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
