Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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