I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize