i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
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