Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
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