if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
