Yo dont text me then not text me
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
