Nicole vs. Life
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
