The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
