yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
