Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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