So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
