I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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