he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
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