is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
