I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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