Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
The adults are the big ones right?
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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