Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I need to calm my uterus...
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
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