You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
