Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
