Porn is love you can see.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
