Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
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