I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
