Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
