if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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