that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
