he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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