i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
no you cant smoke seaweed
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
i out mim tonsoeep
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