How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
