I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
