so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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