Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
